Cash For Codgers
Published Fri, Aug 21 2009 8:02 AM
Angel recently sent around a bit of humor regarding President Obama’s health care plan. I quite naturally forwarded it on to a small circle of my non-blogging friends. I didn’t forward it on to other bloggers because I’m quite sure that she sent it off to a lot of them. Anyway my father replied with a response of his own, another message that must be circulating through the Internet via e-mail.
Just In…
Democrats, realizing the success of the President’s “Cash for Clunkers” rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reid are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named…
“Cash For Codgers”
It works like this. Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special “Bonuses” will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and ANY member of the Republican Party. Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, ice cream or other dairy products, bacon, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless by toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
Remember, you heard it here first.
Oh… did I mention that as a classic car enthusiast that I think the “Cash For Clunkers” program is an abomination? One of my favorite “Speed Channel” programs was American Muscle Car. I liked how they always ended their program with the words “Remember… Don’t crush ‘em – Restore ‘em.”
“Cash For Clunkers” – another reason I’m not a Democrat…
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David responded with:
 | Like "Cash for Caskets" eh? ;-) This is slightly better, IMO. The "Codgers" cognomen alone is enough to appeal to my sense of the macabre. |
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